You want to see unfit?

A friend of mine posted a blog about being an unfit mother (I recommend it - it was very amusing -so check out the aberchronicles), and it reminded me so much of what I went through with Caleb. I have always meant to write down my experiences with him, but I have never gotten around to it, so here it goes:

Isabelle was a perfect child. We found so much joy in parenthood and were anxious for our second. It took a while, but we finally got Caleb. To start off with, he was huge (for me). At 8lb 14oz, the doctor told me that I would not be able to have any children bigger then that naturally (that was after 2 1/2 hours of pushing). So point being, he came into this world with a bang!

Even at a very young age, he was good at getting into things. In the first picture, he did have help with the baby powder and, to be honest, it might have been Belle's idea, but he doesn't look too upset. He did have a tendency towards liquids - soaps, cleaners, foods, etc...which made it that much harder to clean up.
I remember one time in OH when I had purchased a large bottle of shampoo. After getting it home, he managed to open it and dump it all over the living room carpet. My mother-in-law had a carpet cleaner and came over and helped me get it cleaned up. She had a lot of laughs over that one. Another time it was motor oil. Sean had changed the oil and Caleb found the old stuff and decided to play in it. The outfit got thrown away.

We moved to IL and it continued. A large jug of laundry detergent all over the laundry room floor, potato flakes all over the kitchen floor, cereal all over the kitchen, milk, water, or juice all over everything and anything. On his second birthday, Belle and I went to see a play with some friends. I had made his cake and set it out to cool and told Sean to keep an eye on it. He did, after Caleb got into. So I had to learn how to be creative with him...I iced the cake that way on purpose. He had already eaten the cake before I even iced it.

But what I remember the most was when I was 36 weeks along with Olivia. Nora was only about a year old and I was so tired and frustrated with him. Rooms and closets had to have hook and eyes and had to be sure to be locked at all times. He sensed when the lock wasn't on. This particular Tuesday morning, he had dumped the cereal everywhere. I sent him out of the kitchen and started cleaning up. I next found him with the toothpaste in my room on the floor. I was down on my hands and knees (very pregnant) cleaning it up and I turn around and he has poured the expensive and stinky T-gel shampoo all over the bathroom and hall. I take him downstairs and sit him at the table for lunch and go clean up the mess, again. I come back down and he has dumped the doritoes all over the recently swept floor! I couldn't handle it any more!! I decided then and there that it was time to go back on my depression medicine. If I wanted to keep an ounce of sanity, I needed help.

So, on Thursday I had a doctor appointment in the afternoon. That morning I was sitting in a chair in my room facing the hall and stairs and talking to my sister, Jodi on the phone. Caleb had dumped all his books off of his shelf, so I sent him in there to clean up, knowing that he wouldn't clean, but maybe it would give me a little break. I had my eye on the stairs, making sure that he didn't go down, but I guess Jodi distracted me. The next thing I know, our cat, Bullseye comes walking in covered in brown stuff. I thought "What in the heck?!" As he came over, I realized he was covered in Hersey's Syrup! I mean covered! I had the phone in one hand, talking to my sister, and the cat in the other and had no clue what to do. I was dumbfounded.

I carried the cat down the stairs and opened the front door and just threw him out. He could clean himself. I knew I was going to have bigger problems. As I surveyed the living room, my heart just dropped. I started getting a little hysterical and told Jodi I had to go. There was syrup by the diaper closet, on the floor and the walls, and as I turned the corner, I saw that it was along the piano bench, in a puddle on the rocking chair, along the floor to a puddle on the couch. Basically, it was all over. I hung up with Jodi just as Sean pulled up and I meet him in the kitchen just bawling. He holds me as I am crying and tells me not to worry, he would take care of it. He sends me off to get ready for my doctor appointment and in walks Mom and my sister, Sara. Jodi had called and begged Mom to come over and help. Jodi had felt completely helpless, so she called someone who could help. Mom and Sara watched the kids, Sean washed the carpet and cleaned the chairs, couch and walls, and I went to the doctor and begged for my Wellbutrin. Dr. Byrkit didn't hesitate.

That is my biggest Caleb story. He continued after that with the Hershey Syrup, but mostly he would pull it out and give it to Nora. One night, after chugging down a bunch, she threw up in bed. I didn't find out till morning. It was almost all syrup and it was on the sheets, down the wall and on the floor. After that, the syrup went to the basement fridge.

He has taught Nora well and she has done plenty of things herself, but thankfully, it's not been as much. You would think at four, that he is doing better, but just the other day, he took an orange paint stick and wrote all over one of his bedroom walls. Then he scratched his name on the kitchen table and tried to blame it on Belle. When that didn't work, he tried Nora. Nora can't even write her name yet, let alone Caleb's. But with tears in his eyes and his lip curled just so, he did eventually confess.